The Most Patriotic Immigrant You'll Meet

The Most Patriotic Immigrant You’ll Meet.

July 4th was my mother’s birthday. This summer happened to be her 60th and her last. Her birthday felt like a shell of a celebration. Every year we had always celebrated her birthday with a barbeque and family getting together. We would all laugh. Even on her birthday she would help plan. This was different. She was wheelchair bound. The cancer was already eating away at her. She wasn’t her. I did not want to leave her side, but the one time I did to go outside, I looked back from the dock of our house and saw my mother. She was watching through the screen door from her wheelchair. She knew the end was near. She knew this would be the last time she would watch me be truly happy with her in my life. I looked back and it felt strange. Like my whole life I would call out for her to join me whether it be in the pool or whatever it was but she would always be reading or doing something else and watch me, but the option of her joining me was always there. This time was different. She was confined to that space without the option to even participate. So I went outside and then returned back inside. Earlier that week I had made a fun jingle/rap for the restaurant I worked at. My mom thought it was the funniest thing ever. Anything to cheer my mom up during that summer I cherished. So my mom was telling my aunt about it. I showed it. Then a few minutes later my mom asked me to show my aunt as if the past five minutes didnt exists. I looked at my aunt. Another chapter. My aunt and I knew what just happened. Luckily my mom had no idea. This is when I played it again, we pretended it was the first time we had seen it and life went on. After we put on Zootopia to distract the crushing reality that meant that she had been getting worse. (mind you: my mom LOVED the sloth scene because she said it was just like her at the time… I even bought her a personalized sloth mug with her name). That night, we celebrated my mom’s birthday with a cake. As with every birthday, everyone gathers around, takes a few photos, and it is a joyous occasion. My mom didn't notice, but I did: EVERYONE had their phones out to take photos of my mom blowing her candles out. It was like without saying a word everyone knew this would be the last time we would sing Happy Birthday to my mom. I still remember that moment. She didn’t clock it, but we all did. We all knew it would be the last, and hey.. maybe she did?

That night we went on our upper deck to watch the fire works off the bay. From our house you can see the mainland, the bridge to LBI, and LBI (Long Beach Island). On the 4th of July, all the fireworks from all angles go. That night were the last time my mom saw a sunset, and fireworks blast. It was almost like the sun set on a new chapter. I still have a photo of her. As fireworks went off to her left, she looked to the right. Almost like what was going on with life she knew it was happening, but couldn’t quite pinpoint.

We put our mom to bed that night, and after, we just cried.